Narcissism
There are persons who go through substantially difficult moments, which then illuminate their capacity of being empathic and resonating with others. However, the exact same opposite is also very likely to happen, thus a series of traumatic events having the possibility of teaching an individual to hide their pain. This not only affects them, but also their close ones, for when unable to process your own sentiments and trauma, how can you expect to process those of others?
What is a narcissist?
Internet and social propaganda has somewhat altered the perception people have of the term “narcissist”. Whenever somebody acts selfishly or prides themselves in an achievement they made, the word “narcissist” starts to be thrown around like a ball in a school courtyard. However, this term has a much deeper, more specific meaning than just the one it is presently used for.
Narcissism actually takes part in something called “The Dark Triad”, which is the trio of these negative personality traits: narcissism, Machiavelism and psychopathy. In this article, I will be focusing on narcissism: the act of disregarding everyone around you regardless of how your actions might affect them. It refers to one’s inability to process the feelings of others and their obsession of their own persona.
Another way to perceive a narcissist would be as a fugitive through life, without any attachment whatsoever except to their own intangible fantasies.
A narcissist is most threatened by the mere brush with any sort of emotional pain- whether is be a loss, a heartbreak or any other emotion-triggering event. That is why they prefer not to create any bonds, and only use the people around them to their advantage. Just like no plant can have roots in an arid environment, no relationship can be cultivated with a person who isn’t even willing to accept the experience of emotional involvement.
To add to that, they dispose of a great set of skills to obliterate any sort of emotion, and I have listed and described them below in an exaggerated subjective POV:
Megalomania- “I am destined to have a great role in this society, and everyone else is simply a pawn on a board that I possess.”
Manipulation- “The notions of justice and fairness are only applicable when it comes to me. In order to achieve my goals, I will shape your own words against you, and my distorted reality will become yours as well.”
Denial and Dismissal- “Any fault you may think I have is false- you are to blame for your own suffering, and it is you that is responsible for the way you feel. My ability to push you away is greater than your ability to communicate, and any bond you may hope to create is an illusion.”
Isolation- “I am the only important person under any circumstance: in a relationship, friendship or workplace, I will invalidate everyone except myself.”
Resent- “Everyone except me is worthless, their only purpose is to serve me in the pursuit of my goals.”
Ultimately, a narcissist is an expert when it comes to demoralizing, using and draining other human beings- completely numb of his own concealed trauma, he is completely unfazed by that of others.
Therefore, although we hear the definition of “narcissist” everywhere- in countless situations where a person might have created the smallest discomfort- it is important to remember that this term is actually representative of a complex category of individuals, and is a real personality disorder.
Sources:
“With Cold Blood- The Dark Triad of Personality”- Alina Chiracu as coordinator
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/dark-triad
